


Ayers Rock

by fiercy, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Chris Hemsworth and Henry Cavill [38]
Category: Actor RPF, Australian Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), Superman RPF, Thor (Movies) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 20:57:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6535954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiercy/pseuds/fiercy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Chris Hemsworth/Henry Cavill storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG <a href="http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read">Citadel</a>. If you're interested in joining, please contact the mods as listed <a href="http://citadel-info.dreamwidth.org/995.html#cutid1">here</a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Ayers Rock

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-posting (archiving) of all logs for the Chris Hemsworth/Henry Cavill storyline in the BDSM RPS RPG [Citadel](http://citadel.dreamwidth.org/read). If you're interested in joining, please contact the mods as listed [here](http://citadel-info.dreamwidth.org/995.html#cutid1).

It's early, way way earlier than Chris had ever expected to be up and awake on their Christmas vacation, but Henry wants to see Ayers Rock and it's only going to get hotter as the day progresses. Their hired SUV parked in the closest carpark, Chris grabs his backpack from the back seat and hikes it over his shoulders, water bottle clipped to the side. "You ready?"

Shrugging his backpack into place, Henry grins at him. "I'm excited," he answers, taking a quick slug of water and tucking his bottle away. "Almost as excited as the camel ride later," he adds, his grin growing huge.

"And the helicopter?" Chris grins and almost leans in to kiss Henry, spoiled by the days spent with his family. But another car pulls in beside them and he's jerked back to reality. They're not only not out, they're also trying to keep a low profile. He yanks his cap down over his forehead and nods for Henry to lead the way. The path's clearly marked and he hasn't been here in years so there's no advantage in him guiding them.

Henry's cap is riding low, too, and as nice as it would be to do this hand in hand, it's just not in the cards for them and Henry won't let it ruin the experience. Someday they'll do it all again and they won't have to hide.

Setting off on the fairly easy hike, he makes sure he stays in the moment. No thoughts of work or the future, just appreciation for the stark beauty around them. "It's beautiful. Seems like stepping back in time."

"Yeah?" Chris hadn't really thought of it that way before.

Henry glances at him and smiles. "There's an air of primitive here. Maybe I've been reading too much about the Anangu, but it does seem to have a spiritual air about it. And it's beautiful."

"It is and I agree about the spiritual," Chris says, nodding. "I hadn't really thought about the primitive. I know the history but it's become so tied up in the tourism..." he shrugs. "But it's amazing. When I was a kid my parents brought us up here in a camper and we spent days running around the place."

"Have you climbed it? Don't know why I didn't think to ask before." It's so tempting. All of Henry's instincts beckon him to make the trek up the rock, but his respect for the Aboriginal tribe that asks that, as a sacred place, it not be disturbed by tourists is strong enough to keep his appreciation to a distance.

Chris shakes his head. "Too dangerous when I was a kid - and my parents wouldn't have let us anyway - and when I visited when I was older, I knew the aborigines didn't want us doing it so..." he shrugs again. "It seems kind of disrespectful."

"It seems like we've barely had time to breathe lately, much less travel. Getting to meet your parents, spending time with your family has meant a lot to me, I hope you know." Henry watches a family up ahead stop to examine something just to the side of the trail. "I never really imagined having a family as much as I have since we've been here."

"Us having a family?" Chris clarifies.

Henry gives a nod, "Mmhm. Up until now, even when we've talked about it in the past, it's been kind of an abstract. Now it's starting to feel real. Even though I know it's still a ways off, I'd like to start to get ready... kind of mentally."

"You're going to be an amazing dad," Chris tells him. "We'll do stuff like this when they're old enough. Hiking, biking, outdoors stuff, take them travelling..."

Henry's sound is neutral in response. He's not so sure about the amazing father thing. He's quiet for a bit, his eyes combing the scenery around them, but he's busy thinking. Finally, "You're more confident than I am. I don't really relate to kids all that well."

"You were really good with Luke's daughters," Chris points out. "They thought you were great."

Henry smiles at the memory. "They were cute. And I could give them back," he points out, chuckling. He shrugs and suddenly grins at Chris, the tension bleeding out of him. "I suppose it's different when you raise them right out of the box, huh?"

"I think so," Chris says with a laugh. "And it'll be way different than the way you were raised," he promises. "We'll keep them with us, take turns working, spend lots of time up at the ranch. I like the way my parents raised us. They were always so laidback. I mean, we had rules, and we never would have disobeyed or disrespected them, but they knew how to pick their battles and they knew how to let kids be kids."

Henry's warming to the discussion now, letting Chris in when it comes to the doubts he'd been afraid to share. "See, that's the part that's hardest for me to wrap my mind around. What does that mean, let kids be kids? We were always so strictly policed, you know? Our lives were scheduled day in and day out." He shrugs. "Sometimes I think that's why I sought out D/s. The structure."

"Then I must drive you up the wall," Chris teases, bumping shoulders.

"Only in the good way," Henry returns, looking up at him from under the brim of his hat. "I'm pretty sure that I'd rebel against a steady diet now, though I must admit there's nothing quite so sexy as you reining me in when I least expect it."

Chris grins. "I like reining you in," he says before turning serious again. "And as much as I can talk about what I'd do as a parent, I'm not any better off than you. We won't really know until we have kids of our own and then we'll raise them together. That's the whole point. We get to decide together how we do it, what's important to us."

"Is it important to you to have children of your own? Of your blood?" Henry asks, his mind clipping along.

"Not necessarily," Chris says. "They could be yours, we could adopt... The whole surrogate thing worries me because they could change their minds so easily."

"I was thinking the same thing, about the surrogacy route. The courts seem to be making it easier for them to change their minds, too, which... I don't know, seems right in a way but painful for the families-to-be." Henry shrugs again and looks out across the desert. "I don't really have a need to procreate, but I was thinking how nice it would be if they were yours."

"We could find someone through Cit," Chris suggests. "That would probably be a lot safer. They could still change their mind, but it seems less likely."

"Why didn't I even think of Cit for that? I suppose I compartmentalize," Henry says with a faint smile. "I bet that's a kink for some, being a breeder," he says thoughtfully.

Chris blinks hard. "Wow. That never even occurred to me," he says, chuckling at his own surprise. "I just assumed it's like they have estate agents and doctors..."

"That's what I thought about at first, too, but then it suddenly dawned on me... that's a huge thing in sci-fi, right? So real people probably have that kink," Henry says with a chuckle. "Of course... you might have to actually do the deed. Have some good breeding stock woman strapped to a breeding stand, just waiting for you to mount her." He's grinning huge by the time he's through.

"You're scarring me," Chris tells him, laughing and shaking his head.

Henry chuckles, taking a chance and bumping up against him in a gesture that can surely be two buddies just fucking around. He stretches his arms over his head, reaching for the sky, groaning with pleasure as his t-shirt pulls up over his belly slightly, baring his skin to the warm breeze. "I'm betting that's going to be our answer."

"Scarring me or Cit?" Chris asks with a wide mischievous grin, his gaze raking appreciatively over Henry's bared skin.

"Definitely don't want to scar you. At least not those kinds of scars. Scars can be sexy but... " Henry grins, pulling out his canteen to take a long pull of cool water.

"Are you teasing me?" Chris asks. "Out here, where I can't do anything about it?" The look he gives Henry clearly saying he'll do something about it later.

Henry furrows his brow, then grins at him. "Not on purpose. Why? Thinking about scarring me?"

"Maybe. I already tattooed you," Chris says, dropping his voice as a family passes by them. "I saw a branding once," his turn to tease Henry.

Henry smiles, watching the ground as he walks, waiting until he knows they can't be overheard. "I was thinking about something a little...less deliberate. Less planned. Something that happens in the heat of the moment. Not necessarily out of control or by accident, but a scar I can show off. That could have come from a clumsy moment or something, as far as anyone else is concerned."

"I was kidding anyway," Chris points out, just in case Henry didn't get that. "But I can see that happening, at some point."

"Yeah, I kind of figured," Henry says, squinting at the monolith that is Ayer's Rock. "Branding's a little intense for our relationship, I think."

Chris grins. "Are you saying we're too mellow for that?"

Henry smiles and nods. "Yeah. We are. Mellow and laid back. There's not a lot of possessiveness in our lives."

Chris gives Henry a look. "Speak for yourself," he says. "You don't want to see what I'd do to anyone who dared touch you."

Henry returns his look, holding his gaze for a moment. "Maybe I do," he says softly. "What would you do?"

"Besides rip his arms off?" Chris asks. He may seem easygoing but Henry's _his_ and he won't let anyone interfere with that.

Henry smiles a bit smugly. "Now who has gotten a rise out of whom out here among the families of the world."

Chris snorts and tickles Henry's ribs. "You're gonna get a rise out of me anytime you suggest I'm not possessive about you."

Henry laughs, dodging away from him. "And you'll get a rise out of me anytime you're possessive."

Chris laughs, sobering a little when the dad with the family closest to them gives them a dirty look. He blows out a breath and looks away for a moment then picks up his pace, expecting Henry to follow him as he widens the distance between them and the family.

Henry lengthens his stride, picking up speed smoothly. "Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. I'm so bloody tired of it, Chris!"

Chris nods. He doesn't say anything, not trusting himself to speak. It's not often he loses his temper, not often he gets this mad about anything, but like Henry he's sick and tired of it. Of hiding, lying, of all the homophobic assholes of the world. Right now he just wants to hit something and that's _not_ an urge he's going to give in to.

It takes every bit of self control Henry has not to reach for Chris's hand. Not to stop right there in front of God and declare his love for Chris. His hand closed in fists, he concentrates on the walk ahead of him and tries to blow out his anger with slow, measured breaths.

They walk in silence for a fair bit, both fuming, Chris holding his tension in his shoulders and neck until both ache - and until it hits him. They're letting those asshole ruin this day for them. Giving them power over them they shouldn't have. Fuck. "I'm sorry," he says softly to Henry, bumping shoulders. "I need to not let it get to me."

Henry starts to protest, thinking maybe they should let it get to them more often, but then he looks around him, takes in the stark beauty of the desert, and the fact that they're here together. He bumps him back and smiles ruefully. "You're right. After all, it's our decision not to come out. I don't want it to ruin the time I get to spend with you.

"Exactly," Chris says, but it doesn't stop him from taking a quick look around, and when he doesn't see anyone, leaning in to give Henry a quick hard kiss on the mouth.

Henry smiles, bowing his head as they move on, his sideways glance up through his lashes full of joy. "I love you."

"Love you too," Chris murmurs, his whole mood turning just like that. He points out some of the indigenous plants and a snake when Henry almost steps on it. "It's not poisonous," he says. "Well, not very."

Henry goes wide eyed, laughing. "Not. Very? Isn't that sort of like not being very pregnant or something?"

Chris laughs. "It means it won't kill you. Most things in Australia will kill you, so we tend to think of the others are harmless in comparison."

"Well, that's comforting," Henry murmurs, chuckling a moment later. "I'm rather disappointed that I haven't seen a kangaroo or a koala bear."

"There's not a lot of places to see them together," Chris says, offering Henry the water bottle as he unclips it from his pack. "Outside of zoos and sanctuaries." He thinks for a moment. "Which would you rather see?"

"I was just joking. I mean it would be cool but it's not something we need to pursue. We should do a safari sometime, though. Just along those lines. I know there aren't koala bears in Africa," he clarifies with a grin.

Chris laughs. "That would be awesome and you might still get lucky with a red 'roo here," he says, waiting until Henry's done to take a drink.

Henry spends some time gazing up at Ayers Rock. "It's amazing how much it changes as the sun rises. Gorgeous."

"I should be taking pictures," Chris says, putting the bottle away, "but I hate the idea of seeing everything through a lens. It's like you're not really there."

"I don't get it either. I've seen some concert videos on YouTube and everyone's watching through their phones. What's the point?"

Chris grins. "You ever seen people walking around with their iPads," he says, miming holding one out in front of him as he does his best 'dummy' walk. "The things are enormous, you've basically got them covering your face, your whole field of vision..." he shakes his head, torn between amusement and disgust.

"I've seen that at Comic Con!" Henry exclaims, both understanding and disbelief vying for control of his tone. "It's hard enough getting around all those people without purposely blinding yourself! I'd much rather rely on my memories. Even if they're not accurate, I'm likely to err on the side of better than it was and that's okay with me." He grins and bumps against him again, lowering his voice. "Except when it comes to pictures of you. Then I'd rather be able to gaze raptly."

"You're awfully good for my ego, you know that?" Chris teases.

"Sometimes when I look at you I wonder what I have to offer that's good enough." The truth is unusual for him. Henry hardly ever gives voice to his insecurities. "You're so larger than life, so talented and intelligent."

"And you're not?" Chris says, stopping in his tracks. "Part of my whole original attraction to you, besides the physical, was how well-matched we seemed to be, and time's only proven me right, as least as far as I'm concerned." He pauses, eyes flickering over Henry's features, over the man he loves. "I cannot imagine a more perfect partner for me if I got to make them from scratch."

Henry swallows, then smiles. "I think maybe I'm a little more tired of the grind than I thought. It might be time to take some serious time off." He looks up into Chris's eyes, then over the horizon. "Maybe get those horses and spend some time with them."

"What do you have up next?" Chris asks, thinking through his own schedule.

"Post prod for Man from UNCLE," Henry says quietly. "And then... I've sort of cleared my calendar for a while. More Superman Batman Justice League later this year." He stops and turns to look at Chris. "I'm tired."

Chris nods. "I've got the Avengers PR circus in April and May and some stuff right when we get back but what if we took February and March and just hid out at the ranch?"

"Yeah?" Henry's smile is ridiculously huge, his cheeks actually hurting before he asks again. "Yeah? We can do that? Two months? I mean, I was taking time off regardless but you with me? That would be incredible, Chris."

"I think we need it," Chris says, brushing his fingers across the back of Henry's hand. "And we haven't taken any decent time up there."

Henry takes a deep breath, looking up at the sky with a squint. "So... something happened before I flew home this last time. At the airport. I kind of fell apart a little bit. Shaking, sweating, couldn't breathe." His voice lowers a little with each new confession. "I hid in the bathroom, almost missed my flight. I barely made it into my seat and that's why I was a little drunk when I got home."

Chris hides his shock well he hopes. Both at what happened and that Henry didn't tell him before now. "Sounds like a panic attack," he says softly, no judgement at all in his tone.

Henry nods, toes at the dirt. "I'm bloody fucking Superman," he whispers. "I can't have panic attacks."

"Hey," Chris says, heart breaking - fuck it. He pulls Henry into his arms, hugging him close. "Just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again and even if it does, so what? We'll deal with it."

"It's been hard for a while. The traveling and the press." He sinks into Chris, his heart pounding from the admission. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You've been so busy and you've been tired, too. I just wasn't ready to talk about it."

"Has it happened before?" Chris asks, noting the family getting closer to them again, his arms tightening around Henry.

Henry shakes his head. "Not like that. Not so bad. Just...lots of anxiety, impatience." He pulls back, giving his hand a squeeze and letting go. "Feels good, telling you."

Chris nods as they turn, continuing on. "Do you want to talk to someone?"

"Probably should. Someone at Cit." He keeps talking, though, because that thought is a little scary. "Gonna keep me shirtless in jeans, boots and my collar when we get home?" Henry's lip kicks up. Though the sensual appeal is there, it pings with Henry in a different way, a sense of security contained in the thought.

"I was thinking jean _shorts_ , boots and your collar," Chris says, grinning. "And nothing under the shorts."

Henry licks his lips and nods, grinning. "Sounds like a plan, Sir."

"I might even tear a hole in those shorts," Chris muses, rather enjoying himself. "Then I could finger you, fuck you, whenever I wanted."

There's a sudden haze over his vision, though it's brief. A shiver runs down Henry's spine as he considers the potential in days spent with tack leather under his hands and his ass at Chris's mercy. "I'd like that," he murmurs.

"It makes me want to take you home right now," Chris confesses. "February seems _really_ far away."

"Take me home," Henry says softly. "We have the rest of our lives to travel."

"Seriously?" Chris asks, stunned by just how quickly he latches onto the idea when a moment before it was only a wish, a vague desire given voice.

"Yeah. Seriously. I need home. Familiar. I need you and _real_ work that makes me sweat because I'm accomplishing something. I need horses in my life again. I need _home_ ," he repeats, getting more passionate with each word.

Chris nods. "Then let's do this. If we head back now, we can probably get a flight out today, maybe catch one home tonight."

The relief pouring through Henry is palpable. "Do you want to finish our hike? I mean, we're here after all."

"Sure," Chris says, a little surprised. "If you're feeling up to it."

Henry stops again, reaching out to stop him as well with a hand to his arm. He looks at him, his smile a little amused, a lot grateful. "I'm okay, Chris. Just emotionally tired. Burned out. It feels so much better just telling you. But I am ready to go home after this. After I've seen all this place," he adds as he sweeps his hand toward the monolith.

Chris nods. "Okay. Sounds good," he says, suddenly realizing they're alone again, any other groups way ahead or behind them. So fuck it. He takes Henry's hand, brings it to his lips for a kiss, then starts off the trail again, still holding Henry's hand.

A thrill shoots through Henry, and he glances down at their linked hands, then up at Chris. "God I love you," he murmurs, fingers tightening.

"I love you too," Chris responds, heart swelling, everything feeling right again.


End file.
